I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
