This girl is more easily done than said...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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