i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
