yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
