Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
