wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
