Acid is not a monday night drug
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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