i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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