I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
