You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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