3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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