I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
