just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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