we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
