Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
