Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
