So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize