just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
