so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
