I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
