Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
