Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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