Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dicks are not precious.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize