My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
