1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
