I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
