There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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