He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize