Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
