Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You have to summon your inner elephant
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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