I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
