She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
