I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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