dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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