He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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