a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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