Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
