i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
