I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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