i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
