How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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