Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
