Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
