Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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