it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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