Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize