I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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