i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
