yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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