i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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