I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
