It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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