I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
