Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
