Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
