Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
