Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
