How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just saw a hot homeless man
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
