"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize