awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
