if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Pants are for mortals
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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